Say It
by EverAfter89
Summary: Sawyer and Kate have some communication issues. But if they would just say everything they felt, they could work it out and be together again. Rated T for sexual situations and language.


Midnight. Darkness, except for the stars and a signal fire that was always burning across the beach. Sawyer sat, knees to chest, on the shore. The melodic rhythm of waves crashing was soothing and nearly lulled him to sleep. The ghostly moon brought the tide, and the cool crisp water covered his toes and pulled the sand back to sea, burying his feet beneath a thin layer of sand. A rock washed up next to him with the next wave and he picked it up before the ocean could take it back. Years of beatings from the waves had made the stone round and perfectly and flawlessly smooth. It felt good between his fingers. "Screw it," Sawyer scoffed, and chucked the rock back into the water.

He stood, shook the sand off his feet, and made his way back to his tent in the darkness. He was inches away when he discerned the dark silhouette of a human figure through the plastic walls of his little home. "Damn it to hell," he muttered. It was probably the short British kid going through his stash again. He wondered what the hell Charlie was thinking and began imagining a number of different ways he could soundly kick his sorry ass. Best to go with the element of surprise, he decided. Like a lion preparing for a kill, he crept around to the front of his tent. Then, in one swift, fluid motion, he leapt inside and tackled the intruder. The instant he saw the face of the person on top of whom he was sitting, he gasped and his heart came into his mouth. Kate,

Moments passed. He still had her pinned. "Sawyer," Kate said finally, "Could you…"

He blinked. "Right." He got off of her and moved to the other side of the tent. The two sat facing each other. "I thought you were Charlie."

"Gee, thanks," she said with a bit of a laugh.

"No, I mean…"

"I know what you meant. It's alright."

He nodded. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, I promise."

"Did you find Jack?

"Yes," she said. "He's fine, too."

"They didn't hurt you or anything, did they?"

"No. They held us prisoner for a while. But we're safe now."

He smiled a little. "What the hell were you doing in my tent?" he demanded.

She shrugged. "I don't really know. We got back about a half hour ago, and this was the first thing that I saw. I wanted to see you—you know, to let you know I was okay and stuff. But you weren't here. So I guess I was waiting. For you." She grinned. "But I wasn't anticipating such a hostile welcome."

He rubbed his neck. "Sorry 'bout that, Freckles. Like I said, I thought you were the annoying one."

"No sweat."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, staring at each other, until Sawyer couldn't hold it in any longer. "I didn't think you were ever going to speak to me again."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Maybe you forgot. I was kind of an asshole to you."

"No, I remember," she said. "But I wasn't exactly a picnic myself."

He took a deep breath. "I _am_ sorry," he said, "for the way I acted. For the things I said. I just…I don't know."

"No, what is it?" she pressed.

"I don't know if you've realized this, but I 'aint all that good at communication. When you said those things…about the doc…I don't know. I just snapped. I'm kind of the jealous type."

"You shouldn't have felt threatened. Jack's my friend. How could I _not_ feel guilty about leaving him behind?"

"I know that now."

"You should have known it _then_."

He nodded. "Well, I'm guessing that if any one of our friends got left behind, you'd have gone back for them."

She inched a little closer to him. "I'd have gone back for _you_."

"You would?"

"Of course I would. How could you even think that I wouldn't?" She grabbed his hand. "But you really hurt me, you know. Saying that I only did it 'cause I thought you'd die…well, that really _really_ stung. I don't know why you thought that."

He stroked her hand gently. "Because you didn't say it back." Suddenly, he jerked his hand away.

"Say what back?"

He gave her an _are you kidding me_ look. "You know what."

"Oh," she said, then, "oh," again. "That."

"I 'aint some lovey dovey, share my feelings with Dr. Phil kind of guy. Saying those things…it's hard."

She frowned. "I didn't think I needed to say it. I thought you knew."

He looked away from her. This was too hard. "At first…I thought you did feel it. And then you said all those things about Jack and, I dunno. I just realized that I was lying to myself. That you could never feel that way about me and I was stupid for ever thinking you could."

He was stood up and was ready to walk away from her when she said, "That's bullshit and you know it." He met her fierce gaze. "What the hell did you expect me to do? Putting myself out there…that's fucking hard! I thought you were going to _die,_ Sawyer. I was afraid, okay? I was afraid. I mean, I've said 'I love you' before, and I've lost that love and it _hurt_." She could feel herself start to cry, but she went on. "It hurt so badly. How could I admit to myself that I loved you, knowing that they were going to take you away from me forever in a mater of hours?! How?" A few tears slid down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away, hoping he wouldn't notice.

He raised his eyebrows. "You mean…you feel it back?"

She tried to speak through the stifled sobs but her throat was closed. She nodded. He knelt beside her and took her hands in his. "I love you," he said. Kate closed her eyes and tears fell down her face. Sawyer took one of his hands to her face and wiped them away with his thumb. He ran his fingers through her hair and she melted into a puddle at his feet.

Her heart was racing. "I love you, too," she whispered. "I love you so much."

It was almost too much for him. He pulled her head to his and kissed her harder than he'd ever kissed her before. He held her close in his arms as if she would blow away if he ever let her go. He lay her down on the ground and kissed her neck, while she almost breathed the words, "I love you, I love you," until he kissed her again mouth and she could say no more.


End file.
